In the final Harry Potter book, Harry Potter finally manages to reach Shikai with his wand (turning it into a giant staff) and then, with Professor McGonagall's help, achieves Bankai in three days.
In the final Harry Potter book, Harry Potter watches helplessly as Voldemort kills Hermione, summons a giant Meteor to destroy the earth, only to be saved at the last minute by Hermione's ghost (or something) and watches as bright green lights destroy the meteor and most of Midgard. I mean, London.
In the final Harry Potter book, Harry Potter gets his broom up to 88 MPH and, after almost preventing his parents from meeting, prevents Voldemort from ever learning about Horcruxes.
In the final Harry Potter book, Harry Potter discovers a secret room underneath Hogwarts that allows him to cause the castle to fly, which he uses to chase down Voldemort's flying garden.
In the final Harry Potter book, Harry Potter finally wakes up from his dream and discovers that he is not a wizard but has been in a coma for seven years and, in fact, works for Starbucks.
The release of the final Harry Potter book is now only days away.
In the spirit of "Snape kills Dumbledore," I've decided to reveal some information about the last Harry Potter book before it gets released. Each day I'll add a new entry revealing the latest rumor (obtained by carefully mining data from /dev/random) and post it on this site.
In the final Harry Potter book, Harry Potter discovers that Voldemort is his real father, and that Hermione is, in fact, his twin sister.