I've gotten my copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I hope someone got a chuckle out of the various possible events listed on this site, although that would involve people actually reading the site so it probably remains as a silly little joke between me and my brother. Still, it was fun thinking them up.

In any case, here's the complete list of items.

In the final Harry Potter book, Harry Potter...

• [2nd] ...discovers that Voldemort is his real father, and that Hermione is, in fact, his twin sister.
• [3rd] ...finally wakes up from his dream and discovers that he is not a wizard but has been in a coma for seven years and, in fact, works for Starbucks.
• [4th] ...discovers the Internet and flunks out of Hogwarts.
• [5th] ...saves up enough Galleons to purchase an Epic Flying Mount.
• [6th] ...discovers a secret room underneath Hogwarts that allows him to cause the castle to fly, which he uses to chase down Voldemort's flying garden.
• [7th] ...discovers a secret hatch in Hogwarts with the numbers "4 8 15 16 23 42" etched on it.
• [8th] ...gets his broom up to 88 MPH and, after almost preventing his parents from meeting, prevents Voldemort from ever learning about Horcruxes.
• [9th] ...locates the final Dragon Ball and wishes Voldemort out of existance.
• [10th] ...watches helplessly as Voldemort kills Hermione, summons a giant Meteor to destroy the earth, only to be saved at the last minute by Hermione's ghost (or something) and watches as bright green lights destroy the meteor and most of Midgard. I mean, London.
• [11th] ...finally manages to reach Shikai with his wand (turning it into a giant staff) and then, with Professor McGonagall's help, achieves Bankai in three days.
• [12th] ...Harry Potter finds Snape and kills him, only to find that Dumbledore was plotting the destruction of all of Hogwarts, and killing Snape has allowed Dumbledore's plans to go forward, leaving Harry to stop them, which he does, only to find out that Hogwarts is really a big bomb which will destroy the whole world. Way to go, Harry.
• [13th] ...plays through Chrono Cross and understands yesterday's entry.
• [14th-ish] ...borrows Hermione's Time Twister and goes back in time to remind me to post the next item on the list of "Final Harry Potter Book" items.
• [15th] ...helps Hermione obtain her Red Mage hat.
• [16th] ...dies. (Page 881.)
• [17th] ...dies, only to be suddenly revived by an angry Warner Brother (Wakko) intent on an eighth movie. (Page 882.)
• [18th] ...is about to defeat Voldemort, when the server crashes and is reset.
• [19th] ...camps out in line in an to attempt to buy all copies of the latest Harry Potter book by Rita Skeeter.
• [20th] Dumbledore kills Snape. (Page 502.)